A cliff-note summary of our Saturday night in Montreal:
1. Declined any cover charge to any bar, making our selection quite difficult.
2. Saw a girl flash us several times before eventually pulling off her underwear and urinating in the street.
3. Learned not to talk to unattended Asian women.
4. Went to bed at 5 am.
5. Were declined admission to a latex party, but were invited to give the "kink lifestyle" a try, by way of a business card that was pulled out of a strange man's wasteband.
6. Spent all remaining Canadian money on alcohol.
7. Knowingly hung out on the corner of the sex district for at least 15 minutes.
8. Witnessed a massive bar fight.
9. Learned that service is not included in our beer.
10. Were publicly called out for not leaving a tip upon immediately receiving our change at the bar.
11. Tried to bum a cigarette off a pimp.
12. Were directed to a homeless man for said cigarette, by pimp.
13. Learned that in Montreal, alcohol is done by 3 am. Pills, however, can apparently be obtained by following any man around any corner, although you may end up "sleeping with a dude".
14. Smoked cigars at 4:30 am.
15. Had a bank account compromised for the sake of 3 Molson Canadian Drys.
16. Purchased 3 Gin & Tonics at Love/Hate, totaling $30 Canadian.
17. Went into a pizza shop with intentions of buying a 6-pack, that is, until we found out a 6-pack costs $36 at a pizza shop in Montreal.
18. Learned that, to our knowledge, getting drunk for cheap in Montreal is impossible.
19. Received a legitimate offer to have our chests defecated upon, by a fairly attractive woman, in an elevator.
20. Learned that in Canada, nothing is done in moderation.
*Thanks to Greg for compiling
The Extended Account
It’s been about a week since returning home from a long weekend road trip to Montreal, and it’s taken about that long to come to terms with the fact that I’ve still not the faintest idea my opinion on the city.
I came to the realization it was Labor Day weekend about a week prior and decided it must be taken advantage of. I had 3 days. I had limited funds. I had two friends that would join, regardless of destination. I had a 2006 Hyundai Elantra with about 110,000 miles on it I would borrow from my parents because flights were too expensive already. We had a few choices – Charleston (oysters, mint juleps, sear sucker…tempting); Chicago (the bean, beautiful weather, some friends in the area…hmmm); we opted for the semi-international experience thought and decided to cross the border up to Montreal.
We departed late Friday and arrived around 1am. I was fortunate enough to have some hotel nights to dispose of so we checked into the W Montreal for the weekend which was needless to say a little out of our league as a few bum Philadelphians in Chuck Taylors and backpacks with iPods and cheap whiskey in hand. C’est la vie.
We wandered the city for a couple hours and recognized what appeared to be a pretty hopping night life. We settled in a park for about 8 minutes before being shoed away for a filming of some French romantic comedy. We went to bed intrigued. Saturdy we woke with no particular agenda in mind, and just began wandering. We started in a beautiful Vieux Montreal, or the old part of the city. We came across an infinite number of great little café’s and restaurants along a nice restored waterway. It and its people were very inviting, despite my broken French.
We then strolled up to the Palais de Congres, known for it’s modern take on stained glass, featuring dozens of colorful panels of glass on the wall, that when hit by the sun produces wildly fun colors inside the building. We took a number of pictures before being asked to leave because an artist thought we were trying to copy his artwork. The building is a large convention center though and houses many of the city’s festivals and conventions it is known for hosting.
From there we went through the Chinatown which although it did not feel as if it had developed too organically, did feature a number of decent looking restaurants and vendors, one of which being Pho Cali where we enjoyed one of our favorite comfort foods despite the place we’re in.
From there we ventured into what appeared to be the more working class area of the city. It was a great contrast to the very whitewashed stone and stainless steal façade we’d seen so far. We dipped in and out of several boutique shops and record stores before finding ourselves in the midst of the sex district. Little did we know this would not be our last encounter with the neighborhood. We picked up the cars and headed out to the Olympic park, constructed circa 1960-something. It was impressive but not quite as lavished as we’d seen in pictures. Worth seeing, but probably not worth seeing again.
From this point we headed back to center city and showered and prepared for dinner. We started back in Vieux Montreal again at Trois Brassiers, a brew pub of sorts with great microbrews and fantastic burgers. It was a fun place and looking back we’d probably have stayed there had we known what all was in store to follow. At this point I’ll simply direct you to the cliff-notes above to get an idea of what occurred between 11:30pm Saturday and 5:00am Sunday. In an effort to keep this blog somewhat tasteful, I will stress only the detail of how expensive the city turned out to be. None of us had any factual expectations so perhaps it just came to a surprise, but we were not prepared to spend what it apparently takes in Montreal. The majority of clubs and bars we entered had a $10+ cover and we failed to find any type of pub or more casual establishment to which our tastes most aligned. I supposed if we had stayed at one place the whole night we would’ve missed the other 19 events on our short list of memories, so it all worked out in the end. I’ve determined in all though that Montreal is a great, clean city, but appears to be one of those places best visited with an agenda of places recommended by the locals. I have a feeling we were quick to judge on such a speedy trip, but it was a wonderful city to see least and I think at some point it will have to be examined and visited in more detail and time.
Sunday we headed to Vermont for the remainder of the Labor Day weekend. See the following post to see details…
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